Im still lying in my bed, when I woke up this forenoon.I was merely seeking to believe about a ground for acquiring up. But why would I acquire up, theres nil to eat, nil I can make at twenty-four hours, except for lying in my bed and merely seek to be every bit quiet as I can. Im experiencing awful and sad in a universe that I can non penetrate. I merely cant believe why this is all go oning to me.
Trying to acquire myself together I decided to walk really softly to the topographic point where we can acquire H2O. As quiet as I can, I tried to make full my glass. Sometimes Im merely experiencing like my life isnt doing any alteration to this universe, experiencing like Im worthless, cipher else than person I cant be and I dont want to be. Feelingss I cant handle and ne’er portion with anyone. Feelingss that are carved in my life, nil I can alter about it.
Drinking my glass of H2O, I realise what this has all done to me. This war took away my life, my freedom and everything I liked about it. It merely took away the things I loved the most about this universe. Geting loony of this state of affairs, Im inquiring myself, if I will of all time acquire my life back once more.
Diary entry two
I merely woke up by sounds of war, from the hiting exterior, which wont halt before war ended. I stand up and walked to the small window. Looking through it, I can see the infinite with all stars and the Moon in it. The things that will ne’er alter, merely created by nature and which will ever be at that place for me when Im feeling disturbance.
Trying to dont call, I dropped a tear. Locked in my organic structure and in this room, believing about the clip, everything was traveling very well. When my female parent made breakfast in the forenoon and freedom was something, which was usual. When I was used to play outdoors, to shout out everything I want at every minute of the twenty-four hours.
Diary entry three
A new twenty-four hours began, its Monday and today we got some nutrient. After a long clip, we had something to eat and that was truly a party. My ma made dinner this eventide and we played some cards. It was truly great and Im experiencing a small spot better now.
Dreaming about everything that could hold been happened, if there wasnt a war. Writing down everything I feel, because paper is the lone thing that can ever listen to what I feel. Im experiencing that this war allow me experience that I have a really deep lesion. Just a small that I still experience, because most of my feelings are merely gone, because Ive turned them off and I dont want to experience them any longer.
Im still trusting that there will come one twenty-four hours that I can be free once more.
Diary entry four
Its midnight, I merely woke up out of a incubus. Asking myself for a manner out of all this problem, but Im afraid I cant acquire out of this. Im demoing a smiling to my female parent and that few relations that are still with me, but behind that smile fells something that isnt seeable. Depressive feelings, which Im non demoing to anyone. I dont want to demo them. I merely want to believe everythings allright, but is that possible in a state of affairs that is atrocious?
Possibly I should acquire some hope for a good hereafter, for a good life. I can seek, but Im non certainly of my feelings. Inside I will still experience sad, because I know that thats merely being unrealistic. I dont truly cognize what to make. Let hope that on one twenty-four hours, everything will be good.
Diary entry five
Before I went to kip, I realised me something. Sometimes Im confused. This universe Judgess normally tough as nails. Feelingss that Im feeling, I ne’er portion them with anyone. Possibly because it isnt possible, but besides because its non merely something. Sometimes when I write this all down in my diary, I see that sharing is something really all right. When I think about all this problem if feel I have a really deep lesion in a universe that I can non penetrate. Maybe its merely better to believe in a hereafter, because when I think about that, for some minutes my life will be good.
Im afraid that Im acquiring insane from all the things that are strong-arming me. All this stupid things that take away my hereafter and life in a universe that cipher can truly understand. Maybe its merely better to give up, merely because I cant handle my feelings any longer.
Diary entry 6
A new twenty-four hours, still seeking to maintain my caput up. This universe, where everythings lost and so many people are alone twenty-four hours after twenty-four hours. Because of war, because of things that are atrocious. All these things, that are taking away that many lives. Im merely walking circles in a corner and feeling like Im made of rock. At a topographic point where walls dont even listen. Pretty things of a long clip ago are written in my psyche. No more roads to travel, Im merely standing in the shadows of darkness.
My cryings are falling on what used to be, merely seeking to maintain believing into myself, into this universe and inquiring myself if there are alibis for such as problem thats all go oning to me. Im still trusting for a manner out of this snake pit, in a universe where you merely have to run directly through snake pit.
Diary entry 7
It was Christmas eve tonight. I got some nowadayss and after a long clip we made some merriment with my household. I got some new pencils and pens to compose with and a new notebook. We had a nice dinner tonight with nice cooked poulet and a delightful sweet with strawberries. I love them truly much.
But now I think its clip to hold a slumber. Its already late and my eyes will shut every minute. Well, I besides got a new pillow, which is truly soft, merely as soft like frights, but for now I have to state good pass to my journal.
Diary entry 8
Last dark, when Christmas was over. Our metropolis was being bombed by aeroplanes. There were unsmooth sounds and I heard that a batch of people were shouting all around. I became truly afraid of last dark. Since it happened, I cant truly stop weeping and experiencing sad any longer. I wish that this problem was all over, because all of this is aching me so much.
This forenoon my male parent left place without a existent ground. Im still inquiring myself why. My ma isnt really relaxed neither, so I dont truly cognize what I have to believe about it. This war is truly doing a muss of our lifes and it seems that there will ne’er come an terminal on this war.
Diary entry 9
While walls are shuting in, Im inquiring myself so much things once more. Will miracles of all time go on, will I of all time get free and be happy once more or am I being in the oculus of a hurricane where I cant truly happen myself back, cipher will cognize an reply on that inquiry. Im trusting that this war will turn tired and will halt, because its aching me, everyday more and more. But will this war halt? I dont know.
Im in this life to do it right for what its worth, but how will I of all time do that? How can I of all time do that? I am non even certain if I can swear myself. Im certain one twenty-four hours it will be right. If thats excessively tardily or non, I dont cognize once more, I cant truly care about any longer. I will fire out of my strength merely by making that. I truly, truly trust, that on one twenty-four hours, I will be free. So I can be, who Im used to be.
Diary entry 10
Honest where I start from this forenoon, was merely a unusual combination of truth and fright. My male parent woke me up this dark. The lone few words that he said: & A ; acirc ; ˆ?If I dont come back, I will be waiting for you on the other side. & A ; acirc ; ˆA? Besides when Im afraid, possibly my memory will safe me from lying awake, merely to dont allow me believe whole the clip of this problem with a & A ; acirc ; ˆ?no tomorrow echo & amp ; acirc ; ˆA? in my head. Im seeking to maintain my caput up, but at some minutes, Im still experiencing that Ive a really deep lesion. Im experiencing that I will acquire atrophied of this jobs.
I got truly scared. This universe is merely playing with my feelings in a war about some land and power. Possibly I can break halt with my life. In a universe, where freedom is barely been seen. Im merely acquiring depressed of this state of affairs and theres no manner that I will of all time turn this about, because my strengths faded off during this war and my strength isnt strong plenty any longer to maintain myself traveling, to maintain me believe in a universe, where everything is possible in. Where the biggest alteration will go on, merely to give me a life once more, merely to do certain I will of all time be happy once more. But Im afraid that something like that habit truly of all time go on.